Healed Outcomes

Peruvian Rites

As part of my healing journey I made two trips with fellow Shamanic students to Peru’s sacred valley where I received medicine rites and experienced plant medicine. These 10 day trips were based in the Cusco area with daily bus trips to sacred sites within the valley plus a one day trip to Machu Pichu. Travelling with us to the sites were indigenous Queros who carried out ceremonial rites for our group, energetically transferring to each of us special capabilities based on their ancient traditions and belief system.

Each visit to a sacred site involved a bus ride to a remote location within the sacred valley where we toured ancient stone structures built with giant blocks that were fitted together with amazing precision. Around mid-day we were assembled together in a circle to participate in a despacho (sacred bundle) ceremony and to receive our rites for that day, in that place. The Quero led these ceremonies, speaking only in their ancient traditional language. Afterward we had some time to process the effects before returning to the bus for our trip back to our hotel and dinner. On the first trip our teacher offered evening sessions in which he described what that days rite enhanced within us and led us through a practice session.

While our teacher’s Algonquin tradition did not include psychoactive medicines, Peru offers legal access to such experiences. Given this, many in our group indicated that they would like to experience an Ayahuasca ceremony. I had not planned to participate; indeed I had not even considered taking part in such an experience in which I would be giving up all control to the plant medicine. I had never touched illegal drugs such as cannabis and typically suffered excessively strong reactions to some of the treatments I had attempted throughout my healing journey. Also I had been forewarned of possible psychotic breaks or strong purging from both ends from people that had previously had Ayahuasca trips. So I did not volunteer to be included in this experience.

On the day of the optional Ayahuasca ceremony we were visiting Sacsayhuamán, a site providing a huge amphitheater built out of massive stone blocks fitted together in intimate accommodation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacsayhuam%C3%A1n#/media/File:Sacsayhuaman-Inca_stone.jpg). There had been a slight rain shower and when the sun came out I stepped aside from our tour to remove my poncho and as I did this, a stray dog approached me. I fed it some of my protein bar then returned to my tour group, only to find that it had become an information session only for those participating in the plant medicine ceremony that evening. I took this to be a sign that I was meant to be in this group, accepting that Spirit was guiding me.

The plant medicine ceremony was held in a large meeting room within the small rustic hotel outside Cusco. We were instructed to bring our own blankets and pillow and choose a mat as our place for the experience. We were also told to bring along a garbage can lined with a plastic bag since we were most likely to need this. We sat upright to accept and drain a small shot glass of the brewed medicine served by the Curandero in charge. Our teacher and his assistant were also there to facilitate, not to participate in the drinking but they would connect to the energies. When we felt the need we were allowed to lie down. If we needed assistance we were to indicate this to one of the facilitators.

In this first ceremony I have a vague memory of traveling through a narrow walled channel with dramatic sky above – and nothing more. At one point I felt the need to vomit and used my garbage can while others needed help getting to the washroom for their purging. After a few hours I was able to gather up my things and walk with a guide back to my room, eat a protein bar and crash in bed. I did not have a dramatic experience, or at least anything I could recall. Later one of the facilitators told me that he had shared in my most beautiful experience and, when I said I had no memory of this, he suggested it would come to me in time; it never has.

In my second trip to Peru most all those in the excursion chose to participate in the plant medicine ceremony and, again, it was a simple one evening event. This was quite a different experience for me. One participant insisted on singing, believing they were assisting the group in their healing while aggravating many who craved silence. I simply sat erect on my mat and connected with all flavours of love, singing “all you needed is love” over and over in my mind. I was quite blissed out. One of my fellow participants claimed to have latched onto what I was experiencing to ease their own emotional suffering.

We were warned that we might face our worst fears, believe we might be devoured or die, and this was all part of our healing. Those that struggled and resisted had the worst experiences; one was traumatized for some time afterward. A few who were determined to have wonderful psychedelic trips were disappointed; they often had a history of drug use and craved something more powerful. In both Ayahuasca sessions I knew that I had to allow the medicine to take control, to not fight or resist, and not to have any expectation of outcome. My first experience helped me reduce my need for control and allowed me to welcome change. My second experience helped me to embrace love of myself. Both helped me heal in their own ways.

Deeper Healing

Hiding in fear of living is a form of death. Avoiding chemicals, scents and many foods severely limited what I felt comfortable enjoying. Once I sought out ways to manage my reactions I began to expose myself to new experiences. I began to practice a form of Qi Gong energy healing to help remove internal energetic blockages and improve self-healing. I also started intensive Shamanic healing training in which I began to deal with the emotions that were root causes of my sensitivities. In other words, rather than being focused solely on seeking physical treatment to resolve my sensitivities, I also opened myself to healing energetically and emotionally.

My initial introduction to Shamanic healing was a healing circle held in a nearby park on a lovely late summer afternoon. I had come across an ad for this in a local alternative healing publication I would pick up at my favorite vegetarian restaurant. Once my allergy doctor had done as much as they could for me, they suggested that I continue to improve by looking for some form of energetic healing so I was seeking out a practitioner that resonated with me. While the idea of traditional Algonquin healing practices were completely unknown to me, the fact that the event was free, within a 5 minute walk and outdoor so mostly scent free, I decided to give this a try and see if it might benefit me.

I arrived not realizing that we would be sitting on the grass while those familiar with these healing circles had come prepared with chairs or blankets. A young woman saw that I was new to the group and considerately offered to share her blanket with me. I deeply appreciated this as it was the first kindness I had received in a long, long time and, as I found out, it was important to be able to rest comfortably while experiencing shamanic journeys. In that session we were led through three separate meditative journeys in which the medicine man guided us into explorations of different aspects of our consciousness. I was so intrigued by the experience and enthralled by the open-heartedness of this group that I approached the facilitator and set up an appointment for a personal healing session.

I entered my first personal session with skepticism, holding back any explanation of my issues, wanting to believe but also needing the medicine man to do something to prove to me that this form of healing was effective. I vaguely remember his taking me through a guided journey to connect with a lost part of myself and, as I didn’t want to disappoint him, I went along with some of the sensations he suggested I might experience. I felt nothing dramatic as a result of this first session but I did sense some mild energetic flow in one leg, something I had not felt before. I followed up with a second session in which I described my issues and what I suspected might be affecting me. He responded that there was not one single large cause but rather a series of smaller wounds that were affecting me. After this second session we agreed that I should enter his two year training course as a way to heal myself more completely.

I remember feeling completely out of place in the first intensive weekend of the course. Introverted and reserved by nature and having a career in IT security within governmental organizations had not prepared me for such an extraordinary or “woo woo” experience. While I tended not to show my emotions outwardly, there were people in the class releasing intense moans, horrific screams and even vomiting. It reminded me of scenes I had viewed of Baptist healing revivals. This was so new to me, so alien, but so oddly alluring that I stayed.

I quickly came to realize that the key to successful self-healing was to give up control and allow the process to have its full effect. In an early practice session involving clearing of chakras (energetic power centers) we were to set our intention and awareness on healing of an issue, allowing whatever experience to arise in our body. Deep abdominal bellows breathing accelerated and enhanced the energetic effects by reducing our ability to resist while also allowing energy to flow and break through resistance. I distinctly recall sensing my completely frozen emotional body beginning to thaw out, experiencing the same cracking and shifting one notes as ice begin to melt. This was so fascinating to me that I became fixated on the feeling of energy moving within and forgot to breath. This experience, and many others that followed in the course, changed me, opened me up and began to allow deeper healing.

Over the next few years of shamanic ceremonies, I was disassembled and rebuilt in a more healed way. I left the old me behind and began anew.

Physical Healing

As we exist in this physical world, we believe that symptoms like stomach cramps, irritable bowels, frequent bouts of loss of energy, anxiety and brain fog must have a physical source. This was certainly what I believed ever since I had noticed how I reacted to allergens like dust and animal dander. I had been conditioned to avoid my known allergens since an early age.

As I matured, I found I suffered undesirable symptoms after eating certain foods. My mother couldn’t tolerate shellfish, and I found they did not agree with me as well. So whenever I experienced some physical symptoms after a particular food, I would add this to my ever-growing list of things to avoid.

Sometime the symptomatic response was not immediate or took time to reveal itself, often as some new-to-me symptom, making it hard to be sure exactly whether this was an allergy/sensitivity or it was something else going on in my life. This uncertainty made me unsure of myself within the world. Add to this my mother was dying of melanoma and I had become phobic about sun exposure. With all this and additional stresses within family life and career, I found myself becoming more off-balance and having trouble finding any peace or joy. And this negatively affected my wife, kids, as well as my ability to work.

Instead of living in fear and enforced avoidance, I sought out something that would allow me to be less reactive. I had been using frequent acupuncture to rebalance my body but this never dealt with the root cause. I came across discussions about NAET (Nambudripad Allergy Elimination Technique) that intrigued me so I sought out a practitioner in an easily accessible office. The logic behind NAET made sense to me. A session began with selection of the affecting substance that is to be worked on. There is a standard set for the first few sessions, after which, the choice is made through muscle testing. The practitioner puts a glass tube with a sample of the target substance in the client’s hand. They then quiesce the nervous system through a chiropractic technique of physically vibrationally stimulating all the nerves along the spine following which they apply acupuncture or acupressure while the client relaxes for 20 minutes in the presence of the target irritant. All this is to tell the body that it need not react to the sample; all is well.

The sessions offered me hope, however, after the first set of basic clearings, my practitioner advised me that my sensitivities were too complex for him. He directed me towards homeopathy which I tried with no real success; I neither believed it would help nor connected well with the practitioner. Their assessment was that my condition and symptoms were simply due to inherited low self esteem. This may have been true but my ongoing work with the allergy doctor indicated to me that I had more complexity to my condition.

I did more research and found someone had enhanced NAET with the addition of body fluids along with the targets for clearing since there may be ongoing reactions to whatever is within our bodies. This began a turbulent and ultimately successful set of experiences with a BioSET practitioner. In this I was introduced to a variety of treatments in addition to BioSET since the practitioner themselves had symptoms similar to my own and they worked with me to try and improve my condition. One memorable treatment was to clear my sensitivity to my own adrenaline.

I suspect that since I had been living for so long in a state of flight-or-fight, I reacted strongly whenever I felt any surge in my adrenaline. This particular session ran longer than 20 minutes and I could feel so much going on within my chest, like there was something burning up and disintegrating inside me. It was quite a release. But after the many sessions over too many months, I didn’t feel I had improved that much and had experienced several exceptionally strong panic attacks. Unfortunately I had spent a lot of money.

Since this practitioner had similar issues, they directed me to an MD that had been helping them. Once I finally got into this clinic that specialized in allergies/sensitivities, I was tested for a variety of issues including toxicity due to heavy metals, problems with methylation, and SPECT scanning to identify a loss of glutathione throughout my brain. The doctor suspected I had Lyme disease which, at the time, was hard to test for and was not formally recognized in Canada. As a first step I was put on a strong anti-fungal which elicited a huge, traumatic Herxeimer reaction throughout my chest during which I thought I might die. I learned I was so sensitive that I had to start all new treatments at much lower doses than suggested! And over time, the treatments seemed to help me.

Another treatment involved using a nebulizer to inhale a vaporized mixture of liquid glutathione and B-12 prescriptions. I still can feel the drama I went through doing these treatments twice a day and feeling so drained of energy and isolated by my health issues from my growing family. I would watch TV shows while spending about a half hour on the nebulizer. The lungs store emotions and trauma and I certainly went through dramatic lows, heavy tearful episodes, especially as I watched “Touched by an Angel”. But I began to feel better.

There was one early treatment which I never felt worked for me. This was PNP (Provocation Neutralization Protocol). I did watch how another client with strong allergic reaction to strawberries could be provoked into visible body rash with a diluted solution with strawberry essence then have the rash cleared when the neutralizing dilution was tested. But for me, with my particular sensitivities, I could not identify a dilution that cleared me; I just felt much worse the day later.

Key to the treatment was mega dosing of minerals and vitamins since my gut had stopped absorbing nutrients when I was at my worst. I can connect still with the jolt of fear I felt as I stepped on the weigh scale and found my weight had dropped. I was afraid I would waste away. In fact, my family feared I had AIDS. Certainly, they thought I was not right in my mind or at least could not understand what I was going through. I couldn’t blame them since I was in no way balanced or on stable emotional/physical ground.

Another important treatment involved sauna detoxification using specific supplements to aid its effectiveness while also managing the negative effects on the body. All these treatments eventually provided me with a stronger physical state of being. At this point my practitioner decided I was strong enough to begin EPD (Enzyme Potentiated Desensitization). EPD involves an intradermal injection of extremely low doses of many, many allergens along with beta-glucuronidase, an enzyme found naturally in the human body. The treatment is a series of periodic shots to cover a huge variety of potential substances that trigger the body’s immune system and aims to desensitize the immune system. This helped me in two ways: it seemed to clear me of many of my sensitivities and, since my body was so sensitive to some things, I had to learn to manage my fear of the reactions and ride them out.

Eventually I successfully “graduated” from the clinic after having completed all the treatments they had in their arsenal. It was suggested that I next seek out energetic/emotional healing. This led me to begin several years of powerful healing through Shamanic therapies which I will discuss in a future blog.

Healing Myself

I am still in the process of healing as I look back through my journey to my present state of relative wellness. In my early life I had a few common allergies and occasional anxiety attacks. I underwent surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids, which the doctors suggested might help but didn’t. Over the following years I dosed myself as needed, experiencing drowsiness rather than runny sinuses.

In my late teens I discovered my anxiety could be triggered by allergens. This helped me realize that my allergic reactions no longer just left me with a runny nose and itchy eyes but could also disrupt my emotional state.

Over the next few years, I found intense exercise outside helped me manage my symptoms. This served me well until the stresses and responsibilities of raising a family, intensifying work in my career, and dealing with cancer in my family became too much; strenuous exercising no longer supported me but rather depleted me.

Desperate to feel better and gain some control over my health I began to control my diet by avoiding sweets and cooking healthy foods which were helpful in mellowing me out. I found also that I needed my living and workspaces to be clear of things to which I reacted. By this time, I had become sensitive to toxic products. I became an annoying complainer about smells and perfumes within my family. I was not easy to live with back then.

I suffered what I now recognize as severe burnout due to a prolonged period of intense contract work to bring in more money to support my growing family. I pushed myself through a variety of challenging contracts while my wellness spiralled more and more out of control. Ultimately, unable to work, I isolated myself within the family home and tried to avoid any possible contaminants; I feared almost everything might trigger me.

It was at this low point that I felt broken and a failure. I recognized that I needed to find ways to rebuild myself so I could provide for my family. I had begun working with a medical expert who helped me through the process of detoxification and nurturing the re-establishment of my health. I augmented this self-healing of the physical body with Shamanic Healing ceremonies to heal my spirit and emotions. This forced me to disassemble myself and my relationships then to re-assemble myself in a more healed way. Of course this also meant dealing with unhealthy relationships by creating new ones that uplifted me.

I have learned so much though these years of self-work. I will cover many of the lessons and observations in more detail in future blogs.

Many Blessings to You

Andrew